a healthy marriage

hurtling through space

jet packs cinched tightly to our waists

I can barely see you

but when I catch a glimpse 

I can see your scleras your panic

your bewilderment at the barreling speeds

the space junk that will crush us 

the asteroids rushing toward us 

watch out here comes one now

wait wait wait now thrust now

you’re in a Speedo that’s too small 

me in a kneeskin suit we’re competing 

in synchronized swimming 

our thick heads of hair tucked into caps

we’re sculling water holding a water wheel

to stop swimming is to sink to drown to fail

your nose should not dip below the surface

I say with a look so you scull harder 

nose rising defiantly like a snob 

the water feels like jello or is it that my ass

quivering with exhaustion honey

put your back into it

our finances are a braided rope 

to unravel would be to shake out filaments 

like splinters waiting to stick our feet 

we’re dragging a mortgage a car student loans 

a weekly grocery bill that blooms

like a carnivorous flower 

a child that says snack only more than nope

the rope is frayed pulled taut

to sever would be to send the ends flying 

to opposite poles

my retirement relatively puny

my salary too I need your money boo 

I’d take the house you keep your 401k

and where would your mother go

untwisting would be like trying 

to separate a smoothie into component parts

the frozen fruit from the yogurt

from the fucking cookie you added 

do you remember when our daughter

was a newborn you brought the Ninja

to the basement to blend your morning shake 

it’s so fucking loud the Ninja

and the baby never slept so when she did

it was the last considerate thing I remember

perhaps we should buy a duplex and live

separately we’d be fake-together 

your dirty laundry no longer at my feet

the dust on your dresser not on my dresser 

we’d be unavailable to anyone 

but ourselves part-time what a dream 

I’m such a hoot to think such things 

such a cutie

instead at night we collapse into bed

dream of losing each other

dream of someone sweeter easier more mysterious

someone who sits at the table in the morning

and doesn’t slurp their coffee

I can hear nothing else in the house 

right now but the fucking slurping

WHAT you ask me big fight in your eyes 

but you know WHAT and so do I 

you’re disgusting and I’m an insufferable bitch

our distance much larger than where you sit

sullenly and where I sit fantasizing escapes 

I’ll never again consider once the mug 

is in the dishwasher and twenty other

emergencies need to be addressed right now 

right now immediately right now

we anchor each other in our exhaustion 

we pull each other down to ground

any flight any attempted escape

our love no longer aimed at each other

but with precision in the same direction

a moving target a child who sings and argues

and sings her arguments and twirls

in the spotlight of our attention

red cheeked green eyed exponentially energized

a storm cloud throwing lightning

and blinding rain we’re soaked

and electric ready for wonder 

the rainbow she stretches overhead with ease

you're not supposed to do that 

says retired people who forget what it’s like

you need to tend the embers of your relationship

you need to prioritize this and that 

you spend too much energy on this child 

who grows like a miracle

defies rules of time and tenderness

and then they casually mention

they’re with a friend on a stroll

or having a nice glass of wine

and they’re not sure what they’ll do tomorrow

they could do anything really why 

what are you doing

what I want to know is if I’ll ever flush 

with excitement at the sound of your car 

in the driveway reading a book on the porch 

catching your scent on the breeze 

every cell in my body buzzing

with the need to crawl up your ankles 

my mouth in your lap pulling you to my breasts 

wrapping my legs around you extruding silk 

from my spinnerets but you just got home 

you woke me with the door come to bed 

lay your soulless body next to my old carcass

rest your cement-filled head on the crumbling

bricks of my back if we stick it through

do you think there’s a chance we’ll bust

through this cage like animals instantly 

remember our wildness smell the blood 

and lop off hungrily to stalk our prey?