The Dishes

Everyone wants to do ayahuasca, but no one wants to do the dishes.  

When that jackass from high school says he’s living the dream, shouldn’t he be more honest and admit he can’t get hard without medication?

If you never assume importance, you never lose it. That’s what Lao Tzu said, anyway. I’m pretty sure my mom said it too, but she screamed it.

Last night, a friend mentioned there was a person at Pride whose double D tits were covered in thick chest hair. Whoa! I said, then, No biggie.

You know there’s someone out there, he said, lighting a cig with his baby blue lighter, who can’t wait to bury their face in those big hairy titties.

The problem is, I told a different friend, is that everyone wants to bury their face in big titties, but no one wants to do the dishes.

Off the subject, she said, turning away from me and staring out the window, but sometimes I imagine my friends as babies, and then I imagine what it’s like to hold them.